they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
