Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
