You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Naked. naked and bneed help.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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