Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
