his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
