I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
