She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
