we have pet lesbian snakes
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
