Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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