i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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