Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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