it was like eating out sand paper
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
