Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry puto hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

Fav 3 1102 699
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

Fav 27 4771 1133
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.

Fav 5 2915 1156
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again

Fav 1 2099 1084
share tweet
(912): View more from Georgia

Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)

Fav 8 1938 980
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

Fav 6 2124 990
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

Fav 6 1770 872
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth

Fav 1 498 337
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.

Fav 0 39 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT