mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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