Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have feelings that need drinking.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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