I'm lost and stupid without you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
