Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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