i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
