At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize