Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
