These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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