why didn't you poke me back
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
