Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
