her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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