I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
