i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
