$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
