just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
