Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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