every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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