Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
