i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They took my balls.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
