Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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