my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
