I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
