I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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