I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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