At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
