4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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