i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
