Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0

Replies (30) Good night (934) Bad night (4434)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.

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(412): My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him. http://tfl.nu/tue9

Replies (8) Good night (4267) Bad night (841)
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(979): View more from Texas

we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?

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(979): we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us? http://tfl.nu/rk36

Replies (25) Good night (4513) Bad night (1045)
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(417): View more from Missouri

My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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(417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae

Replies (12) Good night (4460) Bad night (1363)
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(925): View more from California

after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.

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(925): after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool. http://tfl.nu/mdau

Replies (13) Good night (4451) Bad night (952)
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(707): View more from California

You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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(707): You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative http://tfl.nu/7tsg

Replies (16) Good night (1153) Bad night (5663)
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(343): View more from Ontario

I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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(343): I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time http://tfl.nu/okao

Replies (3) Good night (3125) Bad night (872)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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(918): Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet? http://tfl.nu/ki3z

Replies (5) Good night (4616) Bad night (888)
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(805): View more from California

Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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(805): Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren. http://tfl.nu/c1hy

Replies (3) Good night (2293) Bad night (1150)
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(937): View more from Ohio

so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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(937): so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency. http://tfl.nu/1ixd

Replies (3) Good night (1966) Bad night (500)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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(479): PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies. http://tfl.nu/q44j

Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (299)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.

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(517): I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT. http://tfl.nu/j08n

Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (341)
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(956): View more from Texas

He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

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(956): He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex. http://tfl.nu/esb3

Replies (5) Good night (288) Bad night (642)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th

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(307): Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th http://tfl.nu/6ns8

Replies (5) Good night (559) Bad night (251)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.

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(702): I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs. http://tfl.nu/2t39

Replies (6) Good night (672) Bad night (335)

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