So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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