i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...