i permit you to call me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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