dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
