Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv
  Replies (10) Good night (1689) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex." http://tfl.nu/vl6s
  Replies (24) Good night (4999) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/47a7
  Replies (10) Good night (3163) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk
  Replies (10) Good night (1106) Bad night (4120)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them? http://tfl.nu/5y9f
  Replies (6) Good night (1876) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
  Replies (13) Good night (3649) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled http://tfl.nu/2qi2
  Replies (6) Good night (590) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend? http://tfl.nu/u4ww
  Replies (10) Good night (1869) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p
  Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us http://tfl.nu/f6nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy. http://tfl.nu/n84f
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs http://tfl.nu/7wjm
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie. http://tfl.nu/pzlb
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem. http://tfl.nu/ghnx
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (160)

Randomize