two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
