i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
