Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
