question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
