u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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