If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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