Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
