i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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