well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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