I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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