I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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