I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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