Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
