Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
