I can tuck mytits in my pants
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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