yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
